Fix Your Relationship Problems By Looking Within
Forget Everything You’ve Ever Thought About Relationships
We all have relationship problems. Problems with a spouse or lover, problems with a parent or child, even problems with friends, co-workers and bosses.
I bet it would surprise you to know that all of the relationship problems you have are of your own making. Wait!!!!!!!! That doesn’t mean it is your fault, there is so much more to it.
It would probably also surprise you to know that all of your relationship problems would disappear if you just learned to recognize the truth behind each problem.
The truth is most people spend so much time scheming and manipulating, trying to control the relationships we do have, that we don’t really know the person we’re trying to relate to. We’re not letting that person see who we really are and the interactions we have then are based on a false foundation. Therefore we’re not really seeing them for who they really are either.
Learn To Say Yes To Yourself
How many times during the day do you say ‘Yes’ to other people when you’d really like to say ‘No.” Think about that and then think about how it affects your life.
The boss asks you to work late.
You really don’t want to because you have plans but if you do, maybe he’ll finally admit how much you do for the company. You come in the next morning expecting a big ‘Thank you for your help you’re such an asset to the company!” and he just tells you to hurry up and get that report on his desk.
Now you’re angry. You feel unappreciated. And when you do put the report on his desk you slap it down and turn on your heel. He, in turn, notices you curtness and thinks you’re being disrespectful and now you’re on his ‘list’. All because he didn’t do what you expected.
But is it true? Does your boss really not appreciate you? Just because he didn’t give you a pat on the back for working late? After he gave you the opportunity to say ‘No’?
In this scenario you have no proof your boss doesn’t appreciate you. But the minute that thought entered your mind all you could see where other instances when it appeared he didn’t appreciate your work. You completely forget the times he’s taken you to lunch or given you the afternoon off with pay. All you remember are the times he’s told you to work harder.
And now, because you agreed to work late in an attempt to earn his approval, not only have you alienated your boss, you’re also angry at yourself for agreeing to do something you didn’t want to do in the first place.
Saying ‘Yes’ to your boss is fine if you do it for the right reasons. Don’t use your ‘Yes’ to manipulate the situation. Don’t use it because you need to feel appreciated. Say ‘Yes’ because you really don’t mind staying.
On the other hand, if you really don’t want to work late, then understand that no matter what you tell your boss it’s not going to change whether or not he appreciates your overall job performance. Tell him ‘No’ and that you have other plans and leave it at that.
By saying ‘No’ to your boss you’re actually saying ‘Yes’ to yourself. You’re giving yourself permission to do what you want to do – in the moment. You’re not worrying about manipulating a situation. You are being ‘YOU’ – probably for the very first time in your life!
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